A Lost Hope
by LittleMonteith
Summary: Cooper was born with the brightest blue eyes, but as he took his first breath his mother took her last. And his own Father blames him for it.


It had to be done. He couldn't see any other way out as he climbed up onto the railing, the birds swooping low, the rushing water below looking deep and inviting. One small step, that's all it would take for all the pain, hurt and loneliness that he fought against everyday to be gone in a second. In the end it wouldn't matter because it wasn't as though anyone was gonna get hurt and he certainly wouldn't be missed, in fact several people might actually be a lot happier if he wasn't around anymore. His own father being one of them.

Since the day that Cooper had been born Charles Anderson had been unable to look at his son in the same way that most fathers looked at their sons or to give him the love and care that he needed. He would even go as far as saying he hated his son if asked, he tried not to blame the boy who didn't understand why his father avoided him and refused to look at him or speak to him but the truth was if Cooper hadn't been born then the love of his life, Katherine, might have still been there beside him.

However, as it was seventeen years ago as Cooper Anderson had taken his first breath his Mom took her last.

Charles had been helpless as the machines began repeatedly beeping and midwives, doctors and nurses began rushing around shouting orders. Then before he had a chance to understand what was happening a small bundle of blue blankets was being thrust into his arms and he was quickly ushered out of the door. He had clung onto his newborn son for what seemed like hours whispering that everything would be okay and that they would see Mommy again soon, he knew it was more to reassure himself than anything else though.

Things hadn't been okay though and they were never going to be okay again.

Charles hadn't be able to return to the house they had bought the previous year, the one they'd saved up together for, the one they'd been and viewed together, the one they'd both instantly fell in love with, the one they'd decided would be perfect to raise their very own little family in, the family that had been torn apart, the one that would no longer be whole.

He'd sold the house and moved back in with his parents, Cooper in tow. Once he'd been told his wife hadn't made it through the birth he couldn't stand to hold or even look at his son. He'd left him at the hospital alone for almost a week, he didn't care what happened to him. He didn't want him. But his parents wouldn't have it, that was their first Grandchild and no one was taking him away from them when they'd waited so long for one. So he'd signed all the necessary paperwork and got Cooper registered and then left it to his parents to care for him.

The elder Anderson's had expected it to be a phase, that in a few weeks maybe months Charles would come to his senses and realise how much he loved his son. His mother kept telling him how much he would regret missing out on the firsts in his son's life but he knew she was wrong. He would never love him. He couldn't. Not when he reminded him so much of his late wife.

Despite his mother's attempts to get him to spend alone time with the child in hopes of them forming a sort of bond he managed to mostly keep his distance and ignore his existence. Things had been sort of working until Cooper began learning to speak. His first word had been Dada and Charles had been furious. He'd gone missing for almost a full week, drowning his sorrows. It was all his mother's doing, she'd been trying for weeks to get the boy to say Dad and was over the moon when he finally did. She was convinced that if her son heard his own son calling to him he'd somehow breakout of his funk. It hadn't worked of course it had just pushed him further into his dark hole.

Much where Cooper currently was as he stood balancing on the edge of the bridge. The slowly setting sun reflecting off the water was the light that shone through his darkness. In that moment he realised that this wasn't where he wanted to be. Not yet anyways. He'd let his Dad push him around and dictate everything he did in life and how he ended it wasn't going to be one of them. It was time to start standing up for himself. He was seventeen. He'd be an adult soon and he'd be able to make decisions for himself without his father's permission.


End file.
